The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
