first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
