Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
