Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
