where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
