Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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