just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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