Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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