I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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