I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
