Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
