i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
