Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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