OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
