i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
