If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
