He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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