i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's never too late to be topless.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
