i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
