Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize