I'm going to rape someone's good day.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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