dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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