Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
