I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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