im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my being single is dangerous.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
