if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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