You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
