I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
