I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
