goodnight i made you a song goodbye
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
