well most of my day revolves around power hour
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
MIDGETS
????
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
