I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
