tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I forget how to act sober
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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