Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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