I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My pussy is not your playground.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
pray to the hookup gods
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
