I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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