this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dick very happy bro
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
