I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wish i was in the wii world.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize