Taylor Swift is so right about you.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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