I want to make a zoo with you.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize