My room smells like vodka and shame
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
