When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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