Don't you send me to vm
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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