I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I looked at my own cervix.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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