They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
