He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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