you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
