yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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