You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
He passed out mid-signature
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
