I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
