I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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