So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
