im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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