Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
