Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize