"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
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