i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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